Comments on: “The Longest Night” – Chapter Ten: Shards of Silver

By: nolessremarkable

nolessremarkable — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 19:21:54 +0000

Wow. Yeah, you nailed it in every particular. I don’t know whether to be amazed at your perspicacity, tighten my tinfoil hat, or be freaked out to find the chiclets in my brain actually spell out words that make sense. I had no idea that was actually coming through. I thought it was reading as, you know, “whitenoisewhitenoise Watson whitenoisewhitenoise Holmes whitenoisewhitenoise Watson” and so on.

So, yeah. What you said. Seraphie’s a sucker for anyone who can see past her job. Watson, of course, sees people as people.

Thank You and pleeeeeeze don’t worry about over-commenting. It’s fun for me to get to talk this about stuff and extremely helpful, too. Thank you.

By: pblazer

pblazer — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 23:05:56 +0000

If you can stand another comment…
Yes, I do really like the chemistry between Watson and Seraphie. For what it is worth, here is how I see it. Watson is just emerging from a period of isolation and numbness. Seraphie is kind and attentive as a courtesan should be. This seems to be like adding water to a sponge. Watson gratefully soaks it up. In return he is his usual gentlemanly self. He doesn’t treat her in frivolous way. He genuinely seems to apprecaite her. In return, her consideration of him evolves from a slightly glib, professional manner to an authentic concern. Her plea to him to remember her with kindness is pretty heartbreaking. And Holmes’ final comment makes me brace myself for a reveal of some conflicting alliance of Seraphie’s, no doubt formed before she spent time with Watson. This is going to be painful. But in a really good way!

By: nolessremarkable

nolessremarkable — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 15:50:05 +0000

hey, pblazer! Thanks so much for the note – it really is awesome to hear exactly what got your interest. It’s tough to know, from where I sit, whether the stuff that sparks for me is doing the same for anybody else and it sounds like it did for you so… cool.

And I’m glad to hear you felt like Seraphie came across just as I hoped she would. To me, she and Watson really had a chemistry. It felt like they fixed a broken place in each other no one else had reached and that was kind of neat.

So I guess I’m getting really boring here – but Thanks again – I appreciate it a whole hell of lot. (oh, and… no comment. :} )
==
edit: sorry, pblazer – i typo’d your name! how f’ing embarrassing. i fixed it. sorry! for that i shall give you a cookie… Francois. Yes.

By: pblazer

pblazer — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 17:51:42 +0000

Watson and Seraphie are breaking my heart a bit. Their alliance is very interesting and I like the way you use her to make observations about Watson that he can’t tell us himself.

I quite liked the rambling tone and the sensual descriptions of the first paragraph(s). In fact, it makes me look at you funny. And you know this how? :>

My favorite part was Francois standing up to Holmes. Holmes does need to be confronted from time to time as be bulldozes his way through life. In fact, I’m with Francois. Holmes needs much the smack on the side of the head.

The only problem with the story is the wait for more chapters!

By: Mary Ann

Mary Ann — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:50:04 +0000

Why are all these silly people expecting me to work? Chapter 10 is up! Must read!

I’m with Elina – Watson, get on with it!

By: Daylyn

Daylyn — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 08:16:09 +0000

AAUUGGGHHHHH!!!

Must. Have. More. NOW!!!

Er… I mean… soon. Whenever you want… oh please, oh please.

*biting my nails, waiting for more*

Oh, I love it, btw.

By: twisted-sheets

twisted-sheets — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 01:09:53 +0000

*dies*

OMG. Cliffie again. My teeth can’t take this anymore, nor my fingernails.

Hah! I knew Seraphie had something in her sleeve.

Watson and Holmes need to have a long, long talk.

By: nolessremarkable

nolessremarkable — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 22:01:13 +0000

hey, Bones! Yeah, sorry, I’m a sucker for cliffs. All the rest of the chapters have them, too… even the ones that take place almost entirely in bedrooms and that took some effort. I apologize in advance. :/

thanks for the note on the first paragraph. yeah, I was getting a little experimental there. Tough to read, huh? I was afraid of that. I’ve been challenging myself to try something new every chapter and that was probably a little too gimmicky. I’ve fixed it – I expect it would have annoyed me as a reader and I figure I’m annoying enough already.

Thanks for all the great comments. I really appreciate your taking the time to read and to leave notes. (i’m glad you like the angst – there’s still angst-a-plenty.)

By: Bones

Bones — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:39:30 +0000

ARGHH!!!!!

More cliffhangers…

Just on comment on grammar then I’ll sod off because this story is just magnificent. That first paragraph is very very very long…is that to capture Watson’s state of mind of being high?

An excellent story that just keeps getting better. I was a little suspicious of the courtesan…hmmm. Once again your attention to detail is absolutely amazing and I do look forward to these two finding their groove…

let the snogging commence? perhaps? unsure?

keep up the good work and I luv the angst!

By: elina

elina — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 18:31:31 +0000

GASP!
Holmes, what do you mean by that last sentence?

And Watson. GET ON WiTH IT!

I love this story very much, I only wish I could read the rest of it NOW! Hehee X)